How To Speak Southern

Nathan Maxwell, my dreamy hero from Ship of Dreams, is from the South — North Georgia to be specific. I was born in Florida, but I come from a Southern family, and growing up, I spent my summers with my grandparents in Georgia. When I was writing Ship of Dreams, I did some research to refresh my childhood memories. 

Of course, we all know the ever popular “y’all” which never refers to the singular. It always refers to the plural.

My grandmother guarded her pocketbook as she pushed her buggy down the aisles of the Piggly Wiggly.

My grandfather was fixin’ to cut the grass.

Bless your heart was never intended to be literal — or kind. It’s a bitchy way of saying, “Are you that stupid?” As in, “She’s wearing white after Labor Day. Well, bless her heart.”

When company was coming over, my grandmother would give the house a lick and a promise, as in a quick once over with a broom and dust cloth. 

I would get a spanking if I sassed my grandparents or pitched a hissy fit. 

Hissy fit and conniption fit are not to be used interchangeably. A hissy fit is a childish display of temper, like a tantrum, only worse. A conniption fit is a sudden, violent emotional outburst generally triggered by shocking news or an unexpected turn of events.  

Even so, I found myself doing research on Southern phrases. Some I remember from my grandparents, but some I’d never heard before. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Too big for your britches
• Won't hit a lick at a snake
• She was madder than a wet hen
• You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear
• Knee-high to a grasshopper
• Haven't seen him in a coon's age
• Comin' up a cloud
• Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free

How about you? Do you know any funny Southern phrases?